why business?

i have been thinking a lot lately about what i like about business, (and how i ended up here.) the thing is, i actually have an aversion to business.

business is strategy. business is calculating as many metrics as you can possibly discover and define in order to leverage the forces they represent to your favor.

when i was kid i loved to play chess and stratego, so there is something about business that i enjoy. as i have worked in businesses and business environments, my aim has been to rise in the business world as high as i possibly can so that i can reach a position of influence and show a different way of conducting business. you see, i believe there is a different way. i believe there is a better way.

as it is, (in the world but particularly in our country,) business is fairly ruthless. capitalism is, in it's truest form and unchecked, an economic system that values profits above anything else. profits are more important and more of a consideration than state, than morality, than human harmony or any notion of brotherhood, than future generations, than mother earth, than family, than church or god. this is not to say there are not those who conduct business in a fashion that runs against the grain of capitalism's truest definition. (However, visionaries like ray anderson are few and far between.)

so how did i end up doing business? i love art.

in particular, i love film. film has power. it is extra sensory and it appeals to me on multiple levels. it makes me feel. it opens my mind. it brings a million other lives into my focus. in this way it is more important than electricity, (for those who may be dependent on it.) the end of central station put me in touch with more emotions and insights relevant to my life and to my education than high school. film, like the great novels, has taught me my path.

i love music. in particular rock music, classic rock, alternative rock, progressive rock, ambient, house, techno, pop, glam, (sometimes,) blues, jazz, bossanova, metal, punk, emo, groove, rap, folk, classical, opera, all that stuff. music moves me. it has the power to calm me or excite me. it adds.

additionally, i love just about every art form i have contacted. i have at one time or another envisioned myself as virtually every type of artist. that said, i have never appreciated the discipline of any art form, (well perhaps writing however, that's been a dirge of an affair thanks to maslow's hierarchy of needs,) at least not enough to dedicate myself to it.

my motivation and passion in this world is rooted in justice and humanism. i consider myself informed by the arts but i have endured in my relationship with business since stumbling into it at low level jobs for a couple of corporations, (and now a small business owner,) because of a belief that one must know the dragon before it can be slain. my greatest satisfaction would come from the realization one day that i have a made a difference in business, in how it is conducted, perhaps in some who conduct it inside and outside of my realm, inside and outside of my time. (points short of such lofty goals would also bring me great satisfaction.)

as an aside, an even greater aspiration would be to figure out how to win consensus on a large scale. i guess this is leadership. iconic leadership. the men who have accomplished this in the past are the men of history. to get people together around the idea that the influence of the masses could transform our world, our realities, in an incredibly short time, this idea powers my life.

if i conducted business in such a way as to hold humans at the center of my idea of success, if providing not only fair employment but the kind of employment that offers dignity and a level of prosperity that is commensurate with the talents, effort and dignity of the worker, represented my ideal outcome and my greatest satisfaction, i want a world where these ideals are prized.

if i ran a company that marketed itself in such a way... actually, if i nurtured the consumer who was willing to pay more for a thing because the company aspires to a set of agreeable values and embarks on a relationship with its clientele based on trust and marked by transparency, i could change the world. if my company heralded itself as the company with the slightly higher price but which maintains an average employee salary 20%, (hell, 12%,) above industry average, which does the very best it can by the environment and which practices a level of disclosure unprecedented in modern times. that company would immediately dry up and go bankrupt in today's business climate. however, if people agreed to pay extra to patronize that company, and if that company created a groundswell of support, made the ideas famous in a way the business model began to apply pressure to all businessmen to change their ways to compete or die, well, it's possible, (especially in our modern age of mass communication.)

i believe a company marketing itself in such a way it pleads for customers based on it's innate goodness and symbiosis with man, if it gained that trust by publishing itself in every way, well, an environment can be created in which companies compete with each other by outperforming each other in goodness. can you imagine that?! maybe not and isn't that a sad testament? we are capable of so much and yet, we are easily confused, (en mass.)

so quietly and discontentedly, i plod on in business. i don't know if perhaps i am a tragicomic figure. in many ways my path has been that of least resistance. my lack of discipline has limited my achievements and yet i have educated myself. my former insecurity about my self-education has recently been replaced by a peace associated with my understanding and my understanding of my station in life, (as it were.) outside of slightly long hours my quality of life is good, though it could be better. more importantly i want for a better quality of life for all people.

i want to work at a company where the employees work harder than those at most companies because they appreciate and are a part of the ethos of the company. that is to say they know they are paid more and appreciated more, they know that their jobs are less specialized and thereby of a higher quality than the former model. they know they are respected and treated fairly and so their output dwarfs that of the masses of men who would toil for companies of the practices of the past. they know that the people at the top of the company make more than those at the bottom but they know the gap is equitable.

i am going to continue to do business. in spite of the fact that i have found precious few kindred spirits in business, in spite of the fact that i tend to look soft as a manager, i am going to keep doing what i do, which is to live my own example and keep pressing on in the direction that represents my path.

how to think about things

i have considered the possibility of writing a business/self help book about my experience working. it's a passing fancy, really, but sometimes i really think it could be a compelling read. you see, i am one of the thinkers and doubters in the work place.

i have heard my personality described as being naturally negative. in a group setting it is supposed to be good to have me around because i am a natural troubleshooter who will find holes in plans. in fact, i have long had some serious authority issues. this is where all my doubting begins and it is also where my propensity for questioning the nature of business and my place in the work world is rooted.

in the 90s i began channeling my rage, my contempt and my dissatisfaction with society at large into my daily life. i started writing my frustration in poems nightly, in columns in the college newspaper biweekly, in an annual magazine, in journal entries sporadically and emails nearly hourly. at work i sought to analyze the machine from the inside out.

i was of the people and i tended to the people like a shepherd to his flock. i looked out for their best interests with a quiet dignity, all the while learning my own lessons as i went.

from my earliest days in any work place i had something of a superiority complex. i treated the work place as i treated the ball fields and courts i had grown up playing on. i strove for success by defining the objective for myself and devising a strategy to compete. this was not as fail-proof a plan as you might have guessed.

i saw the work place as somehow democratic. i thought the stated rules as one would find them in the constitution of the united states of america right on down to the company handbook of the average corporation, represented the only requirements. it sounded like i did not have to kiss ass, like i did not have to be friends with anyone if i chose not to, and like all that mattered was how well i did the job. in a call center answering phone calls all day long i excelled. i took more and more calls than anyone around me, employed the skills of empathy and sales artfully, and i navigated the computer system as if i had written the code. my early advancement was guaranteed.

it got trickier later, however. many lessons i had to learn the hard way. as i moved up some, the competitors became more fierce. now in addition to doing a job well, i was asked to discern the nature of people and act politically. that which i came to love about academic life, the ability to be my own man and to wear my heart and brain on my sleeve, was gone.

i spoke to people i believed to be friends about my honest opinions of others, (honest if unfavorable,) and found my trust had been betrayed. i had a friendly disagreement with a friend once over whether it was what you knew or who you knew that helped you advance in the work place. as i watched her climb right by me on the corporate ladder it occurred to me i did not even know how to do the who you know thing. i was handicapped.

realizations like this usually led to some sort of learning moment. if i took longer to get it, i usually only "got it," all the better. from my days training hundreds of people yearly to managing teams, i have been effective at conveying these things i have learned to others.

once upon a time i happened into a drawer of my boss's, (at his request,) and i stumbled on to the review of an under performing peer of mine. (under performing is truly an understatement,) but this peer had a longstanding relationship with my boss. hence, the sterling review i discovered. i had a mentor in the company at that time whose counsel i sought. he explained a lesson to me i have since shared with probably 10 different people who needed to learn it and who seemed to do just that.

in the work place, one cannot derive their happiness from some notion of comparatively fair wages. rather, one must decide if the wage they are making is fair independent of any knowledge of any other pay rates whatsoever. one must self inquire, "am i happy doing this at this wage?" that alone should be the criteria for one's contentment regarding wages.

having gained a certain sense of comfort and familiarity with the political aspects of the work place, i have been able to share certain truths with some who suffer from false notions and blind spots i once shared.

the overarching principle of mastering the political aspect of business or thriving in the work place is the simple idea that it is part of the job to manage the perceptions of others. this is to say, one must always be aware of the perceptions of others and seek to influence them positively, especially as it regards perceptions about that person.

it is a platitude to remark on the ever-present nature of change and yet, i have counseled employees not only on the idea that it will always be happening throughout their work lives, but also that their adaptability will mark their mental and emotional well being in their personal lives.

i know i still have much to learn. so much. at the same time, many of the lessons i have learned thus far have not been readily available to me. i have learned them many times only after erring first, (usually to my detriment.) while there are a host of business or self help or success/motivational books out there, most of them seem to be written in a language unfamiliar to the masses. if they don't sound like harvard mba's, they usually sound like some sort of dr. phil meets miss cleo character who has written a book "to pump you up."

the reality is, i will not write this book. on the other hand, i did write this blog and with pushing in a righteous and positive direction of my most basic values, i feel pretty good about that.