the icon's death makes me sad, but not for the obvious. . .

Thompson Probably Planned Suicide
Feb 23, 1:18 PM (ET)By DAN ELLIOTT

DENVER (AP) - Journalist Hunter S. Thompson did not take his life "in a moment of haste or anger or despondency" and probably planned his suicide well in advance because of his declining health, the family's spokesman said Wednesday.
Douglas Brinkley, a historian and author who edited some of Thompson's work, said the founder of "gonzo" journalism shot himself Sunday night after weeks of pain from a host of physical problems that included a broken leg and a hip replacement.
"I think he made a conscious decision that he had an incredible run of 67 years, lived the way he wanted to, and wasn't going to suffer the indignities of old age," Brinkley said in a telephone interview from Aspen. "He was not going to let anybody dictate how he was going to die."

i could almost cry. yeah, i loved hunter s thompson. who wouldn't? in this day and age, (and place,) a man who lives on his own terms is a man among men.
i haven't read everything hunter s thompson-not even close. i read fear and loathing in las vegas in my early twenties because i required a crash course in overcoming fundamentalism. i'm fairly certain it was sandwiched between kerouac's on the road and one of the carlos castaneda books. i never tried the drugs thompson and castaneda spoke of: mescaline and acid and heroin and all the others because i was fearful. from early on, (and to my credit,) i knew i had but one life and one body. however, i loved the way these guys lived in these books. while there may have been the occasional tug of capitalism, (the occasional need to pay one's way,) generally, the main characters were apathetic about what is perhaps most important to most of us daily. sal and dean went off galivanting like two lost lunatics in search of the perfect jazz joint. castaneda's characters could spend entire days, prostrate on a porch observing a dog. (according to castaneda, the drug of the brujo even had the ability to displace him from our dimension for several years.) and hunter s th0mpson and his lawyer threw caution to the wind when they pulled off Highway 15 outside of barstow to ingest (more) drugs in their quest for what could be described as; fuller life.
these books had/have joy. they still resonate with youthful exuberance and wonder. for me, fear and loathing was a wild ride. these were insane characters the likes of which, i had never come close to meeting in real life. however, it was nothing more. i am still not sure i understand exactly what gonzo journalism means. i mean, i know the definition, but what it really means? eh. the truth is, i just didn't think thompson was all that amazing. his scathing political commentary on president nixon, on the other hand? brilliant, cutting and insightful.
what makes me sad is how hunter s thompson had to go. i wish he could be here to write about it for us. i wonder how he'd say it.
i like how his publicist said it. it sounds reasonable. it sounds like thompson finished his life as he lived it, on his own terms. but was it really his terms? did he really prefer to end the 67-year run by air-conditioning his cranium? did he want to be found in his kitchen, bloody and unrecognizeable to his own son, sprawled on the floor in an awkward postion, lifeless and soiled?
i am also still saddened by the fact dr jack kevorkian remains imprisoned. he is a political prisoner and i imagine hunter s thompson would have preferred to die a dignified death with the assistance of a professional like dr kevorkian.
i suppose the problem with choosing one's own death is the message it sends to others. it's really the flip side of the cloning issue. those of us who maintain belief systems involving a higher power feel that system threatened by man's god-like quality of being able to choose the time. hence, the practice is criminalized.
there was a touching and insightful piece several months ago in the la times magazine about a california man who needed to make a pilgrimage to oregon in order to choose the relative time of his own death. the article represented man's evolution on the subject and reminded me, (since this viewpoint made it into the mainstream media,) we will not tarry in this place forever.
i am sad hunter s thompson had to go by a gun shot administered at his own hand. i respect him immensely, however, for facing his death down rather than allowing it to face him down.
i am not suggesting there is no quality late in life or any such thing. perhaps it should be like a sex change operation? you can't just run out and get one of those in a fit of depression. it takes years of proving the desire to change one's sex is not a whim before it becomes legal for the operation to take place. similiarly, i doubt hordes of people would run to off themselves if laws suddenly changed. but for those who would choose such a thing and after a season of sort of proving they truly desire this end, (and not just to end chronic physical pain,) well, one sees more dignity in a quiet, dimly lit room, with the music of a string quartet softly playing in the background, as a drug is administered and layers of metaphorical muslin cloud the drifting consciousness.
on february 21st, 2005, the writer hunter s thompson achieved release from his mortal coil. had he survived, his attempted suicide would have been considered a crime by the state of colorado. but then, thompson always was a straight-shooter.