i don't believe in god.
and it's hard to be an atheist in this world where everyone feels so certain they are right that there is this god creature, despite the fact that everyone believes something completely different about who he is or what he is up to and the fact that there has never been one shred of proof suggesting any of the various belief systems are correct.
and i don't suppose people get how i feel about god. to me, this belief system is what keeps us in the dark ages. differences about our beliefs in god is what has caused more bloodshed and turmoil and chaos and death and destruction than any other single factor in the history of mankind. and it goes on today. as a people, we fear the muslims, (these people who actually sacrifice in the name of their belief system.) we fear them because they are so different from us and they believe in a different imaginary creature. perhaps we fear their god will bury our god since history is written by the victors, and so we are afraid of a future without our god and with only their god. (that very same future is the one that causes the most ardent, fundamentalist and extreme muslims to have the happiest of night time dreams.)
men are dying in iraq today, (men whose blood is red and who share the same genetic makeup of one another despite the side they represent,) because some prominent members of the establishment see the convergence of two agendas. by plundering this country as we are doing today, these guys make a lot of money and we make inroads in destroying their god, (the wrong, evil god, we think.) (it's worth noting, too, that many gods have heretofore been destroyed. no longer do we speak of ra or isis or the earth mother goddesses of yore, or so many others. . .)
so in this country we think of christianity as being all nice, god loves you and jesus died for you and awwww, it's all about love. many nice people subscribe to the tenets of the various christian religious systems.
why won't the pope approve contraception for catholics, which in and of itself would end a lot of misery in ireland and south america, among other poor places? because he would be eliminating catholics.
why is the moral majority, (truly an immoral group,) trying to run american politics today? because they have an agenda and they are pursuing it. is the agenda to carry out the values of the historical man jesus? feed the poor, etc? nope. they are interested in amassing more and more political clout so they can legislate the values of americans, censor their tv and radio, return us to puritanical days and ways, times when we suspected women of being witches and threw them in lakes so we could burn them at a stake if they swam, or feel bad about the mistake if they drowned.
this is real stuff. i consider it evidence relative to what we see and what we have today. history is studied so we can learn from it, so we can see trends and know past outcomes and ideally, make a change. it is outrageous how certain americans tend to believe that their god is the right one, considering the various belief systems in the world, especially when our society is so immoral by comparison. (two words as support: enron and iraq.)
onward christian soldiers used the war metaphor for a reason. the war is over who gets the most converts. when king james and the cronies of the day were putting together the bible as we now know it, it was important to have paul's epistles with their exhortations to go ye into all the world and preach the gospel because this is the foundation of the religion. if christians were less concerned with converting people to their belief system, it would wither up and die out in relatively short order.
to me, christianity is among the most horrible of the religions on this planet. the evil it wreaks bothers me on such a level that sometimes to hear my people, people i love and care for, say outlandish things like, "we pray fives times every day," knowing full well they have not studied christianity nor any other religion for that matter and certainly do not perceive the gravity which such a statement represents, i get bothered. i want to ridicule them, (people i care deeply about,) on some level to shake them and wake them up. they could be walking forth in the world, strong and independent, dignified men, afraid of no knowledge, but instead they choose to sally forth in the same cloud of ignorance they have always tarried in.
i get that they know no better, and we may think that they do no harm but truly, this tacit agreement with the status quo is still wreaking much havoc and destruction in the world.
despite my strong feelings about christianity, which come from having a background in it, i recognize many religions are much worse. (surely islam with its metaphor of god despising us and forever on the brink of smashing our world into oblivion for which the adherents pray so often in order to hold back god's smiteful hand, has as much blood and destruction on its hands as any belief system,) but i am here and it is now.
some state in the south has put stickers on their grade school text books declaring evolution to be an unproven theory as it relates to how the world came into existence, to include the life on it. that, is crazy. evolution is a proven fact and can happen in as little as one generation. in ohio they are trying to put creationism into their text books. there is no proof whatsoever that any of that miraculous stuff took place. these things are the product of a scared people and i would we all went forward bravely.
godlessness does not mean you have to just up and go off the deep end of commiting sins. i think that's what a lot of people fear, about others and themselves. i am a far more moral person today than when i was a christian, mired in a slump of guilt, constantly trying to cover my "sins" up. but, it's because the president claims to be christian that so many people will sit idly by and let him lead us, as a nation, to where we have gone. it is also because the president claims to be a christian, which most americans associate with goodness, that someone like me ends up sounding like some loony conspiracy theorist or troubled soul out on the edge or whatever.
who goes on saying they believe in something without knowing anything about that thing they believe in as it relates to the history of the same, what all it entails, etc? a lot of people i love and care about because they are my friends and family.
some believe in times of poor health but say they just really don't know when they are fine, and it's a tough lot being an atheist. here i am considering the basics of some of the most important ideas we can possibly fathom and i am ignored and ridiculed for it, poo-poohed quite regularly, despite the fact i put more energy into the thought and study of these things than most. it's frustrating.
so my frustration slipped out a bit recently. i feel bad that it did and i always do when it does but i apologized. a man must have certain standards to apply to situations like these, especially in light of the regular pummelling he feels relative to these things.
in the aftermath of this incident it was suggested that perhaps i have no light, so who is ruling my life, my loved one wondered? (darkness, they suggested?) i totally disagree. i am letting the light of reality seep into my world when my ancetors refused to allow that.
i think the idea being put forth when it is said that there is light and darkness, good and bad, a god and a devil, is age old, but i do not subscribe. my refusal to acknowledge a fantasy creature we call god, in my opinion, ennobles me. i am of an elite class. i have no need for god. one day i will die. i have no problem with that.
know that i say all i said here to give a glimpse of where i'm really at. people get so offended when i say these things which makes it hard to say them but in truth, i always think i am the one who should feel offended. sometimes i worry i can't keep my christian friends and i worry too that if i disavowed myself of them, it would make family relations all the more strained as well. but of course, i am a man of my time and i must find ways to make peace despite mine disagreement.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Friday, May 20, 2005
communism cafe
i have an idea for a new business. i call it: communism cafe.
communism cafe is a hip diner/coffee bar. it would be ideally located at universal city walk and all the other trendy spots where wolfgang puck and croc cafes usually reside.
the decor would be minimalist with huge images of the proletariat working class manning jackhammers and sporting huge muscles. high ceilings and black poles and commie propaganda posters and waiters dressed like mao. (perhaps we could even excerpt marx inside the menu?)
speaking of the menu, this is what would draw customers into the store. alongside the cost of every item in the menu, we print our profit margin on that item. we would print the profit margin, (and figure the profit margin,) for everything we sell. . .
you see, this is what is so appalling about our brand of capitalism. we don't have monopolies in this country. we have boards. we don't have companies acting in collusion to drive the cost of a thing up because in the age of boards and investors, it is unnecessary. investors demand such high returns, collusion would just be overkill.
i've seen two great examples of this recently and one is my own company. my company was formed as a limited liability partnership between two much larger corporations. those two companies, along with a group of investors, infused my company with a certain amount of cash with which to run the business. the monies gained from the investors represented short term, high interest loans. (i've not studied keynsian economics, nor any other for that matter, so i am just laying this out as i understand it in layman's terms. it's likely in some ways and areas, i'm a bit hazy or slightly off.)
what happens, and what happened, is, the "investment community," monitors the actions of the company. if the company lays off long term employees that cost them more, if the company raises prices and increases revenue, if the company cuts costs, (not only by downsizing,) but also by eliminating things that can be done without, (such as cell phones for their managers,) the investment community gives a big thumbs up to the company who then returns to ask for a lower interest and much longer term loan to pay off the high interest short term loans.
this is the "investment community's" way of exerting pressure on companies to drive profit margins up by any means necessary. collusion obsolete.
here, let me give you an example that might be closer to home. in the case of the dodgers, mr frank mc court knew the system and did exactly the same thing. he garnered a packet of high interest short term loans in order to purchase the team, then he moved in and made changes. goodbye to player's names on the backs of jerseys. farewell, ross porter. hello new seats at astronomically higher prices in front of former front row seats. these are the moves that received a modicum of media attention but rest assured the mc court's cleaned house to a much higher degree.
mc court sent that message those investors needed to hear. he said, i am willing to cut costs by any means necessary, (which i am intimating should be to the chagrin of his customers.) in turn, last week he took out a 25 year loan to pay off the other loans and put him in a more secure position as the owner of the club. he could never have gotten the second loan without the steps he took. (i, for one, already miss you ross porter. and, i still can't tell which one is jd drew and which one is jeff kent, to say nothing of that guy who plays 3rd.) and he could never have wrested ownership of the team without the first set of loans.
so, back to communism cafe. profit margins are too high and it would be great to have a high profile business to make the point and show that it doesn't have to be how it is. it could be the cafe would need one gigantic corporation to stand behind it in the case of a giant lawsuit. (the real idea here being that defending against a giant lawsuit could bankrupt a company all by itself, so the support would be for legal fees to fight any such lawsuit.)
while i believe this issue does have something to do with high profit margins, i do not think these things are in the proper proportion. i feel certain most any company in this country could be run with a 20% reduction in their profit margin and that is what communism cafe would be all about.
if a cheeseburger at applebee's or chili's, (because this is the quality plane i see communism cafe operating on,) is $7, the same burger at communism cafe will be $5.60. if a mocha latte costs $3.75 at starbucks, it will cost $3 at communism cafe.
people, nay consumers, will respond to this. they will beat down the door to pay 20% less for the same product. and that product can be given to them at that price.
one last part of this equation is the pay structure for the employees of communism cafe. employees will be paid commensurately to their counterparts at chili's and applebee's and starbucks. the difference is, those at the highest end will not. if i am an owner of the business and act as a ceo, i will not make the kind of money people with those kinds of titles generally make. i will make more than the next position lower than me and it will be in a step by about the same amount as he makes more than the guy below him.
i'm guessing as owner/ceo, i might expect to make $100,000-$125,000 per year. if communism cafe became a huge chain of stores, it might increase based on the expanding number of employees and the salary scale windening but nobody needs the kind of money today's ceo's make, nor should it be available to them.
imagine, running my own business based on a premise i am passionate about. going to work every day would be a joy. i don't need gobs more money than the next guy. i don't need arrogant opulence.
i just think it would be good if we could check profit margins, (and wall street,) by setting an example, showing it can be done, and watching as business booms and others feel the sting of the intelligent consumer.
communism cafe is a hip diner/coffee bar. it would be ideally located at universal city walk and all the other trendy spots where wolfgang puck and croc cafes usually reside.
the decor would be minimalist with huge images of the proletariat working class manning jackhammers and sporting huge muscles. high ceilings and black poles and commie propaganda posters and waiters dressed like mao. (perhaps we could even excerpt marx inside the menu?)
speaking of the menu, this is what would draw customers into the store. alongside the cost of every item in the menu, we print our profit margin on that item. we would print the profit margin, (and figure the profit margin,) for everything we sell. . .
you see, this is what is so appalling about our brand of capitalism. we don't have monopolies in this country. we have boards. we don't have companies acting in collusion to drive the cost of a thing up because in the age of boards and investors, it is unnecessary. investors demand such high returns, collusion would just be overkill.
i've seen two great examples of this recently and one is my own company. my company was formed as a limited liability partnership between two much larger corporations. those two companies, along with a group of investors, infused my company with a certain amount of cash with which to run the business. the monies gained from the investors represented short term, high interest loans. (i've not studied keynsian economics, nor any other for that matter, so i am just laying this out as i understand it in layman's terms. it's likely in some ways and areas, i'm a bit hazy or slightly off.)
what happens, and what happened, is, the "investment community," monitors the actions of the company. if the company lays off long term employees that cost them more, if the company raises prices and increases revenue, if the company cuts costs, (not only by downsizing,) but also by eliminating things that can be done without, (such as cell phones for their managers,) the investment community gives a big thumbs up to the company who then returns to ask for a lower interest and much longer term loan to pay off the high interest short term loans.
this is the "investment community's" way of exerting pressure on companies to drive profit margins up by any means necessary. collusion obsolete.
here, let me give you an example that might be closer to home. in the case of the dodgers, mr frank mc court knew the system and did exactly the same thing. he garnered a packet of high interest short term loans in order to purchase the team, then he moved in and made changes. goodbye to player's names on the backs of jerseys. farewell, ross porter. hello new seats at astronomically higher prices in front of former front row seats. these are the moves that received a modicum of media attention but rest assured the mc court's cleaned house to a much higher degree.
mc court sent that message those investors needed to hear. he said, i am willing to cut costs by any means necessary, (which i am intimating should be to the chagrin of his customers.) in turn, last week he took out a 25 year loan to pay off the other loans and put him in a more secure position as the owner of the club. he could never have gotten the second loan without the steps he took. (i, for one, already miss you ross porter. and, i still can't tell which one is jd drew and which one is jeff kent, to say nothing of that guy who plays 3rd.) and he could never have wrested ownership of the team without the first set of loans.
so, back to communism cafe. profit margins are too high and it would be great to have a high profile business to make the point and show that it doesn't have to be how it is. it could be the cafe would need one gigantic corporation to stand behind it in the case of a giant lawsuit. (the real idea here being that defending against a giant lawsuit could bankrupt a company all by itself, so the support would be for legal fees to fight any such lawsuit.)
while i believe this issue does have something to do with high profit margins, i do not think these things are in the proper proportion. i feel certain most any company in this country could be run with a 20% reduction in their profit margin and that is what communism cafe would be all about.
if a cheeseburger at applebee's or chili's, (because this is the quality plane i see communism cafe operating on,) is $7, the same burger at communism cafe will be $5.60. if a mocha latte costs $3.75 at starbucks, it will cost $3 at communism cafe.
people, nay consumers, will respond to this. they will beat down the door to pay 20% less for the same product. and that product can be given to them at that price.
one last part of this equation is the pay structure for the employees of communism cafe. employees will be paid commensurately to their counterparts at chili's and applebee's and starbucks. the difference is, those at the highest end will not. if i am an owner of the business and act as a ceo, i will not make the kind of money people with those kinds of titles generally make. i will make more than the next position lower than me and it will be in a step by about the same amount as he makes more than the guy below him.
i'm guessing as owner/ceo, i might expect to make $100,000-$125,000 per year. if communism cafe became a huge chain of stores, it might increase based on the expanding number of employees and the salary scale windening but nobody needs the kind of money today's ceo's make, nor should it be available to them.
imagine, running my own business based on a premise i am passionate about. going to work every day would be a joy. i don't need gobs more money than the next guy. i don't need arrogant opulence.
i just think it would be good if we could check profit margins, (and wall street,) by setting an example, showing it can be done, and watching as business booms and others feel the sting of the intelligent consumer.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
sparkle!
i have a picture of terra in my office at work. she is holding her hand up to her chin, smiling slyly and looking off to the right with a sparkle in her eye.
i don't believe in reincarnation, (i'm just not one to believe in myths and theories that can't be substantiated by proof,) none the less, i like to imagine it true occasionally anyway, (just for fun.)
my dad has remarked a couple of times that terra looks like my grandpa and i can see it. you see, she looks like her mother more than anyone else, hands down. but she does look like a tiny female version of the crass, old, curmudgeon that was my grandpa. it is mostly in her eyes. terra has a characteristic that runs in our family. there is a certain glimmer or sparkle that is evident in the eyes of most of my family members. my grandpa had it, to be sure. often times, if you looked at him, you might have gotten the impression he had something up his sleeve. it was like a little droplet of optimism that was always present there. maybe he was scheming or maybe he was secretly pollyanna's third cousin but either way, this little glint of light that played in the pools of his eyes, that danced around even when the light in the room and he remained stationary, was undeniable.
once i wrote about seeing it in a certain photograph of my mother. it caught me by surprise that she had it too. and i've seen it in my own eyes on occasion, moreso as i've grown older. my dad also has it. with him it looks like a bubble is welling up behind blue eyes but only he knows what it really is. maybe the bubble is getting ready to burst. maybe it's some secret, super spiritual remedy for all of mankind's ills.
my grandpa passed away about four years ago. wouldn't it be nice if he had a spirit and that spirit was in some sort of samsara waiting room until terra's birth? i look at terra, at this picture displayed in my office, and i see him.
i see his craggy old face with the eyes of a young man sparkling back at me. i hear his voice, calling to me in muted tones, a giant baritone supporting all other voices, all other sounds. i can feel his love, so warmly cold.
and i see terra's smooth, little face with a grandpa's eyes twinkling back to me. i hear her voice, "dab-dab-dab, dab-dab," so opposite to his in every way: flute to his bass drum, reed to his crashing cymbal. and i feel her love, his love, through her, welcoming me into the fold of humanity, inviting me to open up and express vulnerability, imbuing me with the strength of weakness.
and i know that love is love is love. the abiding love between my grandpa and i and the love between my daughter and i is all the same; one love.
and i think i am the baby in so many ways, so much to teach but so much to learn.
i don't believe in reincarnation, (i'm just not one to believe in myths and theories that can't be substantiated by proof,) none the less, i like to imagine it true occasionally anyway, (just for fun.)
my dad has remarked a couple of times that terra looks like my grandpa and i can see it. you see, she looks like her mother more than anyone else, hands down. but she does look like a tiny female version of the crass, old, curmudgeon that was my grandpa. it is mostly in her eyes. terra has a characteristic that runs in our family. there is a certain glimmer or sparkle that is evident in the eyes of most of my family members. my grandpa had it, to be sure. often times, if you looked at him, you might have gotten the impression he had something up his sleeve. it was like a little droplet of optimism that was always present there. maybe he was scheming or maybe he was secretly pollyanna's third cousin but either way, this little glint of light that played in the pools of his eyes, that danced around even when the light in the room and he remained stationary, was undeniable.
once i wrote about seeing it in a certain photograph of my mother. it caught me by surprise that she had it too. and i've seen it in my own eyes on occasion, moreso as i've grown older. my dad also has it. with him it looks like a bubble is welling up behind blue eyes but only he knows what it really is. maybe the bubble is getting ready to burst. maybe it's some secret, super spiritual remedy for all of mankind's ills.
my grandpa passed away about four years ago. wouldn't it be nice if he had a spirit and that spirit was in some sort of samsara waiting room until terra's birth? i look at terra, at this picture displayed in my office, and i see him.
i see his craggy old face with the eyes of a young man sparkling back at me. i hear his voice, calling to me in muted tones, a giant baritone supporting all other voices, all other sounds. i can feel his love, so warmly cold.
and i see terra's smooth, little face with a grandpa's eyes twinkling back to me. i hear her voice, "dab-dab-dab, dab-dab," so opposite to his in every way: flute to his bass drum, reed to his crashing cymbal. and i feel her love, his love, through her, welcoming me into the fold of humanity, inviting me to open up and express vulnerability, imbuing me with the strength of weakness.
and i know that love is love is love. the abiding love between my grandpa and i and the love between my daughter and i is all the same; one love.
and i think i am the baby in so many ways, so much to teach but so much to learn.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
race part iv - the epilogue
favors for favors. . . tom delay has taken luxurious trips to golf in scotland, et. al. it seems some of these have been paid for by a republican lobbyist named jack abramoff. delay contributed $15,000 to the campaign of melissa hart who came to represent the 4th district of pennsylvania. abramoff hosted a fundraising dinner for hart's campaign at a restaurant he owns. delay is about to place hart as the chair of the ethics committee which is about to look into his affairs. favors for favors?
read all about this at http://www.jackinthehouse.org/ or check out the organization crew, citizens for responsibility and ethics in washington at http://www.citizensforethics.org/.
abramoff referred to the native americans he was defrauding of large sums of money as "monkeys," "troglodytes," and "idiots." (here's merriam webster's definition of troglodyte, by the way: "1 : a member of a primitive people dwelling in caves 2 : a person resembling a troglodyte (as in reclusive habits or outmoded or reactionary attitudes)"
so what's this got to do with race? well, i think it's interesting that three guys started out talking about race but never came near reaching any sort of concensus or agreement about anything. (in fact, i think we did agree about things at times but. . .)
my original hypothesis was that race tends to act as a diversion and a division. i think for those who are trying like hell to hang onto their money and make more and pass it down to the next generation, they're only too happy to have people invest their lives and souls, (and of course, their lettuce, cabbage, geetus, & greenbacks,) into the issue that is race and race relations.
if you go to that website and you read about this creep; jack abramoff, you will come to understand that cash is his god. my dad used to say that everybody has their god, even atheists. for some it was their christian god with allhis glorious attributes but for others, (he would say,) it might be their porsche or their youthful looks or their tv or their bon-bons or their incessant gossiping. it could be a person place or thing, or it could be as inanimate or esoteric as imagineable, but everyone has that thing that sort of propels them through their life and without which, i guess they would be a heaping mass of confusion.
so when abramoff refers to the native american tribes with epithets, one can read between the lines and see that this guy not only worships and lives for money, he looks down his nose at those who do not think as he does. creep.
it may be that i'm finally disappointed about this dialogue which has occurred on these blogs. it is stimulating but alas, i am beginning to see us as the unwitting participants in this diversionary tactic in the class warfare that is race. it's true, i do not have to walk around every day in white america as a black man, enduring the smirks (and much more,) of a confederacy of dunces and perhaps if i did, i'd feel differently. maybe i'd be so fed up with it, railing against it would be all that restrains me from going postal on a local nordstrom's?
as it is, i find those who would separate themselves from the mass of humanity by accumulating wealth so they can live in the gated community on the hillside, (i see you creeps in arcadia trying to horde the gorgeous view from your gated community,) (please read this if you love righteous activism: http://heavytrash.blogspot.com/2005/04/april-24-2005-for-immediate.html) so they can feel superior to their neighbors, so they won't feel so insecure. . .far more offensive.
read all about this at http://www.jackinthehouse.org/ or check out the organization crew, citizens for responsibility and ethics in washington at http://www.citizensforethics.org/.
abramoff referred to the native americans he was defrauding of large sums of money as "monkeys," "troglodytes," and "idiots." (here's merriam webster's definition of troglodyte, by the way: "1 : a member of a primitive people dwelling in caves 2 : a person resembling a troglodyte (as in reclusive habits or outmoded or reactionary attitudes)"
so what's this got to do with race? well, i think it's interesting that three guys started out talking about race but never came near reaching any sort of concensus or agreement about anything. (in fact, i think we did agree about things at times but. . .)
my original hypothesis was that race tends to act as a diversion and a division. i think for those who are trying like hell to hang onto their money and make more and pass it down to the next generation, they're only too happy to have people invest their lives and souls, (and of course, their lettuce, cabbage, geetus, & greenbacks,) into the issue that is race and race relations.
if you go to that website and you read about this creep; jack abramoff, you will come to understand that cash is his god. my dad used to say that everybody has their god, even atheists. for some it was their christian god with allhis glorious attributes but for others, (he would say,) it might be their porsche or their youthful looks or their tv or their bon-bons or their incessant gossiping. it could be a person place or thing, or it could be as inanimate or esoteric as imagineable, but everyone has that thing that sort of propels them through their life and without which, i guess they would be a heaping mass of confusion.
so when abramoff refers to the native american tribes with epithets, one can read between the lines and see that this guy not only worships and lives for money, he looks down his nose at those who do not think as he does. creep.
it may be that i'm finally disappointed about this dialogue which has occurred on these blogs. it is stimulating but alas, i am beginning to see us as the unwitting participants in this diversionary tactic in the class warfare that is race. it's true, i do not have to walk around every day in white america as a black man, enduring the smirks (and much more,) of a confederacy of dunces and perhaps if i did, i'd feel differently. maybe i'd be so fed up with it, railing against it would be all that restrains me from going postal on a local nordstrom's?
as it is, i find those who would separate themselves from the mass of humanity by accumulating wealth so they can live in the gated community on the hillside, (i see you creeps in arcadia trying to horde the gorgeous view from your gated community,) (please read this if you love righteous activism: http://heavytrash.blogspot.com/2005/04/april-24-2005-for-immediate.html) so they can feel superior to their neighbors, so they won't feel so insecure. . .far more offensive.
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