Friday, May 20, 2005

communism cafe

i have an idea for a new business. i call it: communism cafe.

communism cafe is a hip diner/coffee bar. it would be ideally located at universal city walk and all the other trendy spots where wolfgang puck and croc cafes usually reside.

the decor would be minimalist with huge images of the proletariat working class manning jackhammers and sporting huge muscles. high ceilings and black poles and commie propaganda posters and waiters dressed like mao. (perhaps we could even excerpt marx inside the menu?)

speaking of the menu, this is what would draw customers into the store. alongside the cost of every item in the menu, we print our profit margin on that item. we would print the profit margin, (and figure the profit margin,) for everything we sell. . .

you see, this is what is so appalling about our brand of capitalism. we don't have monopolies in this country. we have boards. we don't have companies acting in collusion to drive the cost of a thing up because in the age of boards and investors, it is unnecessary. investors demand such high returns, collusion would just be overkill.

i've seen two great examples of this recently and one is my own company. my company was formed as a limited liability partnership between two much larger corporations. those two companies, along with a group of investors, infused my company with a certain amount of cash with which to run the business. the monies gained from the investors represented short term, high interest loans. (i've not studied keynsian economics, nor any other for that matter, so i am just laying this out as i understand it in layman's terms. it's likely in some ways and areas, i'm a bit hazy or slightly off.)

what happens, and what happened, is, the "investment community," monitors the actions of the company. if the company lays off long term employees that cost them more, if the company raises prices and increases revenue, if the company cuts costs, (not only by downsizing,) but also by eliminating things that can be done without, (such as cell phones for their managers,) the investment community gives a big thumbs up to the company who then returns to ask for a lower interest and much longer term loan to pay off the high interest short term loans.

this is the "investment community's" way of exerting pressure on companies to drive profit margins up by any means necessary. collusion obsolete.

here, let me give you an example that might be closer to home. in the case of the dodgers, mr frank mc court knew the system and did exactly the same thing. he garnered a packet of high interest short term loans in order to purchase the team, then he moved in and made changes. goodbye to player's names on the backs of jerseys. farewell, ross porter. hello new seats at astronomically higher prices in front of former front row seats. these are the moves that received a modicum of media attention but rest assured the mc court's cleaned house to a much higher degree.

mc court sent that message those investors needed to hear. he said, i am willing to cut costs by any means necessary, (which i am intimating should be to the chagrin of his customers.) in turn, last week he took out a 25 year loan to pay off the other loans and put him in a more secure position as the owner of the club. he could never have gotten the second loan without the steps he took. (i, for one, already miss you ross porter. and, i still can't tell which one is jd drew and which one is jeff kent, to say nothing of that guy who plays 3rd.) and he could never have wrested ownership of the team without the first set of loans.

so, back to communism cafe. profit margins are too high and it would be great to have a high profile business to make the point and show that it doesn't have to be how it is. it could be the cafe would need one gigantic corporation to stand behind it in the case of a giant lawsuit. (the real idea here being that defending against a giant lawsuit could bankrupt a company all by itself, so the support would be for legal fees to fight any such lawsuit.)

while i believe this issue does have something to do with high profit margins, i do not think these things are in the proper proportion. i feel certain most any company in this country could be run with a 20% reduction in their profit margin and that is what communism cafe would be all about.

if a cheeseburger at applebee's or chili's, (because this is the quality plane i see communism cafe operating on,) is $7, the same burger at communism cafe will be $5.60. if a mocha latte costs $3.75 at starbucks, it will cost $3 at communism cafe.

people, nay consumers, will respond to this. they will beat down the door to pay 20% less for the same product. and that product can be given to them at that price.

one last part of this equation is the pay structure for the employees of communism cafe. employees will be paid commensurately to their counterparts at chili's and applebee's and starbucks. the difference is, those at the highest end will not. if i am an owner of the business and act as a ceo, i will not make the kind of money people with those kinds of titles generally make. i will make more than the next position lower than me and it will be in a step by about the same amount as he makes more than the guy below him.

i'm guessing as owner/ceo, i might expect to make $100,000-$125,000 per year. if communism cafe became a huge chain of stores, it might increase based on the expanding number of employees and the salary scale windening but nobody needs the kind of money today's ceo's make, nor should it be available to them.

imagine, running my own business based on a premise i am passionate about. going to work every day would be a joy. i don't need gobs more money than the next guy. i don't need arrogant opulence.

i just think it would be good if we could check profit margins, (and wall street,) by setting an example, showing it can be done, and watching as business booms and others feel the sting of the intelligent consumer.

5 comments:

Crash Pryor said...

The cafe idea looks cool, academically speaking but don't you think your competitors would retaliate in some way? E.G. the "boards" of your competitors at applebees, chilis, star-fucks (hell, even Wolfgang himself) would put pressure on the companies that supply you with your meats, produce and beverages who, in an effort to retain the business of many companies instead of one upstart cafe chain, would fold like french fries under the weight. (pun intended)...I was listening to KPFK about 3 weeks ago and somebody called with a similar offering by stating that we should plan a mass boycott of the operations that we feel are destroying our country's economic standing in their corporate race to the bottom before everything crashes (and a stock market crash is eminent) but all that shite is too late, think about everything you use on a daily basis (GE = NBC = Universal = Kraft, I'm broadstroking) We're looking at the days when barons like the Rockefellers, Mellons or Mr. Yellow journalism himself, W.R. Hearst ran things like they were the "good old days." Those jackbooted thugs' tentacles have been severed but now the pieces of those extremities have taken on lives of their own and are creeping in hordes all over our economic landscape...and they're procreating as they slither along...Like that snooty Maitre D' in Ferris Bueller's Day off: "I weep for the future." But since I'm already sat and holding a menu, I'll have a Bolshevik Beer, a "Chairman Mao Cheeseburger" with a side order of Cesar Chavez Ceviche...Laters.

mj said...

ceviche coming right up.
i think other companies pressuring suppliers not to sell to me is illegal. granted, judges can be bought but none the less, i wouldn't mind getting into those would be competitors via a fat lawsuit. i don't guess it would be easy but i certainly wouldn't slink away from availing myself of legal recourse.

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