freedom!

i've known for nine days now. tommy got parole.

he is still on the inside and said it could be up to two months before he is outside but he had three years lopped off of his sentence and i am ecstatic about that. he called me that evening and said he had talked to my dad but asked him not to say anything to me as he wanted to reach me and tell me himself. and he was excited. i could hear it in his voice.

he sounded like a reprieve. he sounded like the tommy buried deep down, the one not allowed to come out in prison, the goofy kid who used to tickle himself under the arm to make me laugh, just a little. i think that tommy is surfacing now. headed up. coming for some fresh air and so much more.

and i could not possibly be happier for him and for little tommy and for irene and for myself and for my dad. . .

i have spent brief times in jail in my life. the four days in los angeles county nearly killed me, or at least it felt like that. it wasn't simply the freedom restrained that felt bad, it was the cave mentality that was so utterly disheartening.

in jail, (at least in our jails and prisons in this country and i doubt they get much better elsewhere,) man can be seen going back a few centuries in time. as we evolve, we unevolve when conditions change. in jail i saw people hiding contraband in their rectums. i saw the world change from this big-brained man's world we live in back to the big man's world of yesteryear. there is no reasoning in jail. their is only muscle, power and brutality.

so i hope tommy did not lose himself. i hope the part of him that was buried deep down makes it to the fore and allows him to warm up, to warm up to his son and his family and the strangers out on the streets and the cops and the robbers and the homies and the man.

and if he wants to talk about it, henry shared a coldplay song with me the other day after reading my previous blog posting, i am here and would love to talk and help and be helped.

talk (by coldplay)

Oh brother I can't, I can't get through. I've been trying hard to reach you, 'cause I don't know what to do.
O brother I can't believe it's true. I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you. Oh, I wanna talk to you.
You can take a picture of something you see. In the future, where will I be?
You could climb a ladder up to the sun, or write a song nobody has sung or do something that's never been done.
Are you lost or incomplete? Do you feel like a puzzle you can't find your missing piece? Tell me how you feel.
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak. And they're talking it to me.
So you take a picture of something you see. In the future, where will I be?
You could climb a ladder up to the sun, or write a song nobody has sung or do something that's never been done. Do something that's never been done.
So you don't know where your going and you wanna talk. But you feel like you're going where you've been before.
Tell anyone who listens that you feel ignored. And nothing's really making any sense at all.
Let's talk, Lets talk. Let's talk, Let's talk