how to think about things

i have considered the possibility of writing a business/self help book about my experience working. it's a passing fancy, really, but sometimes i really think it could be a compelling read. you see, i am one of the thinkers and doubters in the work place.

i have heard my personality described as being naturally negative. in a group setting it is supposed to be good to have me around because i am a natural troubleshooter who will find holes in plans. in fact, i have long had some serious authority issues. this is where all my doubting begins and it is also where my propensity for questioning the nature of business and my place in the work world is rooted.

in the 90s i began channeling my rage, my contempt and my dissatisfaction with society at large into my daily life. i started writing my frustration in poems nightly, in columns in the college newspaper biweekly, in an annual magazine, in journal entries sporadically and emails nearly hourly. at work i sought to analyze the machine from the inside out.

i was of the people and i tended to the people like a shepherd to his flock. i looked out for their best interests with a quiet dignity, all the while learning my own lessons as i went.

from my earliest days in any work place i had something of a superiority complex. i treated the work place as i treated the ball fields and courts i had grown up playing on. i strove for success by defining the objective for myself and devising a strategy to compete. this was not as fail-proof a plan as you might have guessed.

i saw the work place as somehow democratic. i thought the stated rules as one would find them in the constitution of the united states of america right on down to the company handbook of the average corporation, represented the only requirements. it sounded like i did not have to kiss ass, like i did not have to be friends with anyone if i chose not to, and like all that mattered was how well i did the job. in a call center answering phone calls all day long i excelled. i took more and more calls than anyone around me, employed the skills of empathy and sales artfully, and i navigated the computer system as if i had written the code. my early advancement was guaranteed.

it got trickier later, however. many lessons i had to learn the hard way. as i moved up some, the competitors became more fierce. now in addition to doing a job well, i was asked to discern the nature of people and act politically. that which i came to love about academic life, the ability to be my own man and to wear my heart and brain on my sleeve, was gone.

i spoke to people i believed to be friends about my honest opinions of others, (honest if unfavorable,) and found my trust had been betrayed. i had a friendly disagreement with a friend once over whether it was what you knew or who you knew that helped you advance in the work place. as i watched her climb right by me on the corporate ladder it occurred to me i did not even know how to do the who you know thing. i was handicapped.

realizations like this usually led to some sort of learning moment. if i took longer to get it, i usually only "got it," all the better. from my days training hundreds of people yearly to managing teams, i have been effective at conveying these things i have learned to others.

once upon a time i happened into a drawer of my boss's, (at his request,) and i stumbled on to the review of an under performing peer of mine. (under performing is truly an understatement,) but this peer had a longstanding relationship with my boss. hence, the sterling review i discovered. i had a mentor in the company at that time whose counsel i sought. he explained a lesson to me i have since shared with probably 10 different people who needed to learn it and who seemed to do just that.

in the work place, one cannot derive their happiness from some notion of comparatively fair wages. rather, one must decide if the wage they are making is fair independent of any knowledge of any other pay rates whatsoever. one must self inquire, "am i happy doing this at this wage?" that alone should be the criteria for one's contentment regarding wages.

having gained a certain sense of comfort and familiarity with the political aspects of the work place, i have been able to share certain truths with some who suffer from false notions and blind spots i once shared.

the overarching principle of mastering the political aspect of business or thriving in the work place is the simple idea that it is part of the job to manage the perceptions of others. this is to say, one must always be aware of the perceptions of others and seek to influence them positively, especially as it regards perceptions about that person.

it is a platitude to remark on the ever-present nature of change and yet, i have counseled employees not only on the idea that it will always be happening throughout their work lives, but also that their adaptability will mark their mental and emotional well being in their personal lives.

i know i still have much to learn. so much. at the same time, many of the lessons i have learned thus far have not been readily available to me. i have learned them many times only after erring first, (usually to my detriment.) while there are a host of business or self help or success/motivational books out there, most of them seem to be written in a language unfamiliar to the masses. if they don't sound like harvard mba's, they usually sound like some sort of dr. phil meets miss cleo character who has written a book "to pump you up."

the reality is, i will not write this book. on the other hand, i did write this blog and with pushing in a righteous and positive direction of my most basic values, i feel pretty good about that.