Wednesday, February 03, 2010

iced mountains

dear coors,

please leave the device that is cold blue mountains off of your beer. it's insulting.

look, i know that you are merely creating an impression of value. i know that the raw ingredients in one of your beers costs pennies. even the mass produced glass bottles are only a few cents more. the dollar per you extract from me is something of a gouge but i am at peace with it. your massive profit margin is merely annoying.

all of your marketing efforts, like the blue mountains in case i am certifiably brain dead and cannot otherwise know if my beer is in fact, technically, or certainly, cold, add value, (you believe,) above and beyond the basic cost of the ingredients. the feature that is these cold activated images is your justification for charging a certain amount more for your beer.

i'd prefer you just charged me the amount and left the asinine white or blue mountains off the label. they just make me think you think i'm like, "duhhhh, yeah. these mountains are so cool, plus they could actually be handy in an ice chest when a warm six-pack has been added."

i don't want my wine-drinking friends to think i am a dumbass because i drink beer.

2 comments:

randomgiggles said...

I kind of thought the blue mountains were a fun touch... but if they are charging more for the beer just cause of some dumb mountain picture then I agree.. they should leave it off... good call.

Anonymous said...

Bro its not like this Coors company cares about us or is saying they are Greenpeace or anything...Its a beer company . THEY SELL BEER>>ITS a salesmens job to come up with new ideas to sell such as buds lime beer..now blue-mountains wasn't as brilliant as the bud lime but it's still pretty brilliant. I wish I'd of thought of it..then id buy a new prius and travel more.....oh ya this is your brudah speaking hahahhah