mark, olivia...and pam

did i tell you the one about mark and olivia and pam? (it's kind of classic.)

one day mark let me know that he wanted to change his name. i objected of course.

"why would you want to change your name, buddy," i said? "your mother and i picked that name out. "it's your grandfather's name, too, you know."

he just insisted that he wanted to change his name. so i asked what he wanted to change his name to and to my horror he replied, "pam."

pam? what the hell is pam?! since when do gender crises begin at three?

a few days later my wife tells me mark wants to change his name to pam. she was as puzzled as me. jokes followed about my son being gay and i'll tell you, i really considered it. i thought about all it would mean. i imagined his life, (and my life in relation.) my grandchildren disappeared before my eyes.

in a way i suppose it was a healthy consideration for me. i know i am going to love my son for the rest of my life no matter what. and while i do not consider myself homophobic i do recognize that some aspects of that lifestyle can be difficult, more difficult than perhaps a straight lifestyle, (as it were.) so there is a part of me that sincerely hopes mark is not gay.

several days later mark again insisted he wanted to change his name to pam.

"damn," i thought. (this thing is not going away.)

so on friday i had some pizza and salad brought in for my team at work for lunch and as we sat around a big table in the warehouse chatting it up i told my story. i was sharing about how i was a little bit worried but mostly just thought it was funny that my son had been asking to change his name to pam.

"pam," i highlighted? not just a girl name but an out-of-fashion, girl name.

just then a girl sitting across the table who i had just hired and who was spending her first day with us chimed in. "does he watch olivia?" she said.

i answered in the affirmative and the new girl went on to tell us how her little guy also watches olivia and on a recent episode a new girl had joined olivia's class named olivia. at first the new girl was known as olivia 2 but it was all too confusing for olivia and so, she decided she wanted to change her name to, (you guessed it,) pam. (in the back of my mind i actually recalled the episode ever so slightly.)

everyone at the table began giggling including me. and in a way i was also relieved. yes, mark had gotten this idea from olivia, (and latched onto it.) 20 minutes later i emailed my wife to let her know where mark had gotten that "pam," thing, so she could also be relieved.

gender crisis averted, (for now.)