belief?

i don't believe in god.

and it's hard to be an atheist in this world where everyone feels so certain they are right that there is this god creature, despite the fact that everyone believes something completely different about who he is or what he is up to and the fact that there has never been one shred of proof suggesting any of the various belief systems are correct.

and i don't suppose people get how i feel about god. to me, this belief system is what keeps us in the dark ages. differences about our beliefs in god is what has caused more bloodshed and turmoil and chaos and death and destruction than any other single factor in the history of mankind. and it goes on today. as a people, we fear the muslims, (these people who actually sacrifice in the name of their belief system.) we fear them because they are so different from us and they believe in a different imaginary creature. perhaps we fear their god will bury our god since history is written by the victors, and so we are afraid of a future without our god and with only their god. (that very same future is the one that causes the most ardent, fundamentalist and extreme muslims to have the happiest of night time dreams.)

men are dying in iraq today, (men whose blood is red and who share the same genetic makeup of one another despite the side they represent,) because some prominent members of the establishment see the convergence of two agendas. by plundering this country as we are doing today, these guys make a lot of money and we make inroads in destroying their god, (the wrong, evil god, we think.) (it's worth noting, too, that many gods have heretofore been destroyed. no longer do we speak of ra or isis or the earth mother goddesses of yore, or so many others. . .)

so in this country we think of christianity as being all nice, god loves you and jesus died for you and awwww, it's all about love. many nice people subscribe to the tenets of the various christian religious systems.

why won't the pope approve contraception for catholics, which in and of itself would end a lot of misery in ireland and south america, among other poor places? because he would be eliminating catholics.

why is the moral majority, (truly an immoral group,) trying to run american politics today? because they have an agenda and they are pursuing it. is the agenda to carry out the values of the historical man jesus? feed the poor, etc? nope. they are interested in amassing more and more political clout so they can legislate the values of americans, censor their tv and radio, return us to puritanical days and ways, times when we suspected women of being witches and threw them in lakes so we could burn them at a stake if they swam, or feel bad about the mistake if they drowned.

this is real stuff. i consider it evidence relative to what we see and what we have today. history is studied so we can learn from it, so we can see trends and know past outcomes and ideally, make a change. it is outrageous how certain americans tend to believe that their god is the right one, considering the various belief systems in the world, especially when our society is so immoral by comparison. (two words as support: enron and iraq.)

onward christian soldiers used the war metaphor for a reason. the war is over who gets the most converts. when king james and the cronies of the day were putting together the bible as we now know it, it was important to have paul's epistles with their exhortations to go ye into all the world and preach the gospel because this is the foundation of the religion. if christians were less concerned with converting people to their belief system, it would wither up and die out in relatively short order.

to me, christianity is among the most horrible of the religions on this planet. the evil it wreaks bothers me on such a level that sometimes to hear my people, people i love and care for, say outlandish things like, "we pray fives times every day," knowing full well they have not studied christianity nor any other religion for that matter and certainly do not perceive the gravity which such a statement represents, i get bothered. i want to ridicule them, (people i care deeply about,) on some level to shake them and wake them up. they could be walking forth in the world, strong and independent, dignified men, afraid of no knowledge, but instead they choose to sally forth in the same cloud of ignorance they have always tarried in.

i get that they know no better, and we may think that they do no harm but truly, this tacit agreement with the status quo is still wreaking much havoc and destruction in the world.

despite my strong feelings about christianity, which come from having a background in it, i recognize many religions are much worse. (surely islam with its metaphor of god despising us and forever on the brink of smashing our world into oblivion for which the adherents pray so often in order to hold back god's smiteful hand, has as much blood and destruction on its hands as any belief system,) but i am here and it is now.

some state in the south has put stickers on their grade school text books declaring evolution to be an unproven theory as it relates to how the world came into existence, to include the life on it. that, is crazy. evolution is a proven fact and can happen in as little as one generation. in ohio they are trying to put creationism into their text books. there is no proof whatsoever that any of that miraculous stuff took place. these things are the product of a scared people and i would we all went forward bravely.

godlessness does not mean you have to just up and go off the deep end of commiting sins. i think that's what a lot of people fear, about others and themselves. i am a far more moral person today than when i was a christian, mired in a slump of guilt, constantly trying to cover my "sins" up. but, it's because the president claims to be christian that so many people will sit idly by and let him lead us, as a nation, to where we have gone. it is also because the president claims to be a christian, which most americans associate with goodness, that someone like me ends up sounding like some loony conspiracy theorist or troubled soul out on the edge or whatever.

who goes on saying they believe in something without knowing anything about that thing they believe in as it relates to the history of the same, what all it entails, etc? a lot of people i love and care about because they are my friends and family.

some believe in times of poor health but say they just really don't know when they are fine, and it's a tough lot being an atheist. here i am considering the basics of some of the most important ideas we can possibly fathom and i am ignored and ridiculed for it, poo-poohed quite regularly, despite the fact i put more energy into the thought and study of these things than most. it's frustrating.

so my frustration slipped out a bit recently. i feel bad that it did and i always do when it does but i apologized. a man must have certain standards to apply to situations like these, especially in light of the regular pummelling he feels relative to these things.

in the aftermath of this incident it was suggested that perhaps i have no light, so who is ruling my life, my loved one wondered? (darkness, they suggested?) i totally disagree. i am letting the light of reality seep into my world when my ancetors refused to allow that.

i think the idea being put forth when it is said that there is light and darkness, good and bad, a god and a devil, is age old, but i do not subscribe. my refusal to acknowledge a fantasy creature we call god, in my opinion, ennobles me. i am of an elite class. i have no need for god. one day i will die. i have no problem with that.

know that i say all i said here to give a glimpse of where i'm really at. people get so offended when i say these things which makes it hard to say them but in truth, i always think i am the one who should feel offended. sometimes i worry i can't keep my christian friends and i worry too that if i disavowed myself of them, it would make family relations all the more strained as well. but of course, i am a man of my time and i must find ways to make peace despite mine disagreement.