2

happy birthday today to my indefatigable son, mark, who is now two! it is nearly trite to hear a parent say their children are different, but it is still especially accurate regarding my two little people.

some people tell me mark has been slower about speaking and commanding language because he is a boy, which i suppose is probably true? the evidence is he did take longer to walk and talk. of course, terra was the beneficiary of rabid attention not only from faith and myself but from our extended family as well. to me, as someone who subscribes to skinner's radical behaviorism, (for the most part,) it just makes sense that terra received more stimulus and responded positively while mark has responded positively to stimulus but at a slower and commensurate rate. (does that make sense?)

since i have been unemployed i have been staying home with mark daily and so, we have bonded in a way that did not necessarily occur between terra and myself. mark is especially affectionate with me. for my part, i am also more comfortable with him at this age than i likely was with terra.

mark and i share certain traits as well. we both enjoy throwing things. over the years i have often preferred to toss trash into a bin from several steps away just to have the little joy of throwing. mark seems to share this enjoyment as he will throw balls, puzzle pieces, crayons, whatever. and he has a good arm, too.

lately we have been working on certain pronunciations. mark knows the alphabet already but he has trouble making some of the sounds correctly. so we have an exercise he can tire of quickly but we do it daily none the less. 'j' and 'v' are particularly difficult letters for mark. he can make the guh sound of 'g,' no problem. however the juh sound of 'j' is another story entirely. so i tell him to look at my mouth and i demonstrate my puckered lips and i start with my teeth together and i force that "juh," sound out with emphasis.

generally mark responds by saying, "guh." it is disappointing in a way and at the same time, he has small victories. sometimes he will get it right but then be unable to duplicate what he did. on differentiating between 't' and 'd,' he has completely gotten it.

so some would think here come the terrible twos but my own opinion is that behavior may be slightly misnamed. it should probably be called, "the difficult time from 1.5 to 2.5." in terra's case, she became especially communicative sometime shortly after she hit 2-and-a-half and at that point, became significantly easier to handle. for his part, mark could do the same (wrong) thing over and over 3-4 months ago but now he learns from a mistake and tends to repeat it less often.

as if you wanted to know all about my child-rearing observations. well, i just thought it would be a good day to share some of my experiences with this little guy who embodies so many of my hopes and dreams.

you see, mark reaffirms my world view. in mark i see my own life improving. i see the next generation of my family having a better start and in ways, evolving. i am hopeful i can keep the tv off just enough and encourage him to nurture self-discipline and help him develop a strong, long, attention span and through these things i am hoping mark will excel where i failed.

i am hopeful he will be able to sustain himself through a college education. i am hopeful he will have less anger. i am hopeful he will be able to learn without necessarily having to experience. at the same time, i am hopeful mark will retain a few of my qualities as well. i hope he gains a healthy anger and dissatisfaction with the status-quo. i hope he values learning for life. i hope he feels the need to create from deep within.

more than anything i want mark to have a life with as little fear as possible and as many options as possible. furthermore, in as much as i can facilitate this outcome, i will feel successful as a parent. i'll tell you this, as with terra, i love my boy. my life is now fully dedicated to him.